The Kitchen Appliance You Are, Based On Your Zodiac Sign
There's a whole world of kitchen appliances out there, from the millennial-favorite air fryers that have been taking up counter space since the 2020 pandemic, to the electric can openers that were common in the 1950s. We all have a crock pot or stand mixer we haven't pulled out of the cupboard in months, but we keep it around. No matter your age or level of cooking experience, there's a kitchen appliance to match your needs — and another that doesn't. Whether it be as niche as a nut milk maker or as universal as a microwave, it'll be there when you need it. The same can be said about your zodiac sign.
Like the kitchen appliances you hold onto but may not always use, your zodiac sign is a valuable tool — one that can allow you to better understand yourself, your relationships, and your decisions. In times of challenge or uncertainty, a quick Google search of your signs yearly, monthly, weekly, or even daily horoscope can provide much-needed insight. Mars might be in Capricorn, Uranus in Taurus, or worse, Mercury could be in retrograde. Whatever it may be, your zodiac sign is an instrument that unlocks the smaller intricacies of your life so you can focus on the bigger picture ... kind of like an electric smoker.
So, just for the fun of it, why not consider which kitchen appliance your zodiac sign might be? Each of us has our strengths and our weaknesses, after all, as do our appliances.
Aries
Being fire signs, the Aries are confident and passionate — and, considering they're represented by rams, it's no surprise that they're also bold and ambitious. The Aries go head first into anything and everything they set their mind to, and they won't settle for being anything less than the best. Of all the positive and negative traits that these signs possess, they're most known for their competitiveness. But, being the first sign of the zodiac isn't enough for the Aries. They want to be first in every other aspect of their lives too. That's why, if they were any kitchen appliance, they'd be the most popular and most used — the air fryer.
Not only are air fryers hot like these signs, but they work quickly. It's part of the reason they're such a dependable appliance. Just like the way these signs jump into new avenues and opportunities, cooking food in an air fryer is fast and straightforward. Simply open up the compartment, place your food inside — be it your frozen Trader Joe's entree or last night's leftovers — and you'll get your meal in half the time it would take you to preheat and cook it in your regular oven. The good thing is that unlike the Aries, whose all-or-nothing nature can lead them to hard-learned lessons, there's not much you can get wrong from using an air fryer. Your food will always come out crispy and hot.
Taurus
A lot can be said about the Taurus, but most of it revolves around how stubborn they are. Tauruses like to have a routine, and, unlike some people, they actually stick to it. This can be frustrating for their friends or family who may struggle to get them out on spur-of-the-moment plans, but it's really a blessing in disguise. You see, for Tauruses to show up as the grounding, level-healded, and calming people we know them to be, they have to take care of themselves and their needs first. These qualities go hand in hand, and it's why the Taurus's kitchen appliance takes the most basic, yet complicated ingredient and makes it perfect every time.
That's right — if the Taurus were any kitchen appliance, they'd be a rice cooker. Like the Taurus, rice is an ingredient that grounds every meal, from a spicy curry to a hearty chili. But it's not always quite so easy to make right. There are a lot of cultural practices and traditions around how to make rice, and they're all valid. Rice cookers, on the other hand, remove the inter-generational secrecies and make you a perfect pot of rice every single time. No more stressing about exactly how much water you should add or how long you should let it steam because, like the sound advice of a Taurus, all of the instructions will be laid out for you.
Gemini
Even if you're not into astrology, you've likely heard about Geminis. These signs have a reputation, and if we're being honest, it's not the best. Because twins represent them, the rumor seems to be that Geminis are two-faced. That plus the fact that names like Donald Trump and Kanye West are associated with these signs means that a lot of people have written them off. Now, these signs probably could care less about all of that, but I think it's important to point out that not only is it an unfair assumption, but it's also not true.
The truth is, Geminis are only represented by twins — which is sometimes symbolized by two masks — because they're so social and curious. Geminis have so many hobbies, interests, friends, and side hustles that the only way for them to be everywhere they want to be is to have a clone of themselves. Still, knowing all of that, there's a certain kitchen appliance that Geminis would be — and that's the panini press. With two pieces of bread and some melty cheese, two things become one hot, toasty sandwich. I couldn't think of any better way to squash, or press, the rumors about these signs for good.
Cancer
If you have a Cancer in your life, you know full and well how caring they are. If you don't, however, then that could come as a surprise to you. Like the crabs that represent them, Cancers tend to hide behind cold, hard shells, but inside, they're just big softies. Empathetic, emotional, and nurturing, Cancers have a way of always understanding how another person feels. They just get it, and they often take on other people's feelings as their own. It's part of why they're so sensitive to their environments, which inherently leads them to be notorious homebodies. They just prefer the comforts of their home surroundings. They love nothing more than snuggling up with a cup of tea.
That being said, it's apparent that, if the Cancer were any kitchen appliance, they'd be an electric tea kettle. With the flick of a switch, an electric tea kettle gets your water boiling in seconds — making it even easier for these signs to prepare whatever steeped beverage they're in the mood for. Considering how moody these signs are, though, that could be anything. Masala chai, rooibos, genmaicha, and matcha green tea are all up for grabs. Fortunately, an electric tea kettle will have the water boiling for these signs in seconds. The best part is they won't miss more than a second of their favorite show to do so, and they can go right back to cuddling with their cat.
Leo
Born from late July to August, Leos are often called the summer babies of the zodiac — and they have the personalities for it, too. Represented by the sun, Leos can sometimes get caught up in thinking the world revolves around them. They love to be the center of attention, and their big personalities make it easy. While they may come off as braggy at times, it's never ill-intended. Leos simply aspired to make the most of life, and they're there to celebrate even the smallest of wins, whether it be theirs or yours. If the saying "living your best life" were personified in any one of the zodiac signs, it'd be the Leo. Considering they're also so closely associated with summer, the kitchen appliance that they'd be could not be an ice cream maker.
There's nothing like an ice cream cone on a hot summer day, even if it does melt faster than you can eat it. Ice cream from anywhere sounds good to me, but, in true Leo fashion, homemade ice cream would undoubtedly take it up a level. This way, you can make any flavor you feel like. From passionfruit to strawberry and peach to pineapple, making your own ice cream with an ice cream maker means that you can use up all of the fresh fruits that are in season during the summer. It's just one of the many ways you can live your best life like Leos do.
Virgo
If you need something done, ask a Virgo. No, really —these signs are not only productive, but they're also perfectionists and love crossing things off of their to-do lists. However, this doesn't only pertain to work tasks. Virgos love doing small things that contribute to something much bigger, which is why a lot of the things on their to-do lists also include healthy habits. Whether it be a morning cycling class or an evening yoga ritual, Virgos understand that the little, daily habits are what build an overall healthy lifestyle. That's why, if these signs were any kitchen appliance, they'd be a slow juicer.
While not as common, juicers are a great investment — especially if you're a Virgo looking to get your greens in. Kale, apples, sweet potato — you name it and it can be juiced. Not only will a juicer satisfy this sign's health kick, but it will also give them something to clean up. It's true, these signs love a mess, simply because it gives them something to do. Virgos need to occupy their minds with tasks, and with as many parts that a juicer is made up of, they'll have a job on their hands when they're done. Once they're finished, they'll get to revel in all the work they did. Until the next task comes along, that is.
Libra
Libras are obsessed with balance — it's why they're represented by the scale. It's also why they're such talented designers and decorators. The Libra's eye for symmetry is what has made them come to be known as the aesthetes of the zodiac, and their appreciation for beauty extends to everything from their partners to their clothes and their furniture to their food. If any sign were to appreciate the technique and skill that goes into the presentation of a dish, it's the Libra. While they're sure to be able to handle a julienne cut or a dice on their own, a spiral may be difficult to execute to their level of detail. So, it's probably no surprise that, if the Libra were any kitchen appliance, they'd be a spiralizer.
Spiralizers come in handy for all sorts of things in the kitchen. Zucchini noodles? Spiralizer. Curly carrot ribbons? Spiralizer. Cucumber salad with a twist? Spiralizer. But where it might come in really handy for these signs is for garnishing their cocktails. A spiraled veggie or fruit adds a decorative touch to any dish, but garnishes are what make craft cocktails stand apart from regular old drinks. Spiral your orange peels for that Old Fashioned or toss in a curly cucumber to your margarita — it really doesn't matter. That extra effort of spiralizing your garnishing will make all of your drinks feel just a bit more decorated, and Libras will especially appreciate how they wrap around the inside of the glass.
Scorpio
If Scorpios are known for one thing, it's their mystery. You'll rarely ever know what these signs are thinking, because they like it that way. Just like the scorpions they're represented by, Scorpios like to wait to strike when it's least expected. These signs are willing to play the long game, too. They plot and calculate each move they make. While they aren't necessarily nefarious, and their determination can work positively or negatively, they are famous for holding grudges. A Scorpio never forgets or forgives, and they will wait as long as they need to get their revenge or see karma run its course. The longer the better, really, because in that time their feelings will only grow more and more intense — making the reward that much better.
Knowing all that, there's only one kitchen appliance that the Scorpio could be, and that's the crockpot. Popularized during the 1970s, the crockpot was a revolutionary advancement for working women, because it allowed them to prepare dinner in the morning and finish when they got home. Just like Scorpios, crockpots are good for cooking low and slow — and the longer they cook, the more flavors and aromas come out. Crockpots are ideal for preparing things like chicken gumbo or chilis, allowing you to achieve deep, intense flavors that are so reminiscent of the Scorpio's feelings. Fortunately, unlike Scorpios, there's no vengefulness involved with cooking with a crockpot, and all you'll end up with is a delicious meal.
Sagittarius
Represented by the archer, Sagittariuses are the adventurers of the zodiac. These signs are notorious optimists, which means they tend to set their sights higher than most would perceive as possible. However, even if the result ends up being different than they may have expected, they always find a way to turn it into something positive. You see, Sagittariuses see life as a quest for knowledge, and every experience — be it good or bad — is an opportunity for them to expand their understanding of the world. These signs travel far and wide in search of places and experiences. That's why, if they were any kitchen appliance, they'd bring a dish from a faraway place right to their kitchen, aka the hot pot.
Originating in China over a thousand years ago, hot pot isn't just a dish, it's an experience. It involves gathering a group of people together around a hot, bubbling broth or stock that is kept hot by an induction burner and placed in the middle of the table along with thinly sliced meats and shrimp, mushrooms, fresh noodles, and more. Guests communally dig in with chopsticks and use the broth to cook everything to their liking before it into the sauce and eating. While the locally owned, mom-and-pop shops do it best, having hot pot at home is great for a fun and memorable dinner party. Your guests are sure to leave feeling fed and full from the experience — just how the Sagittarius likes it.
Capricorn
It's no secret that Capricorns are workaholics. Even they wouldn't deny it. These signs are driven, fearless, and resilient — and they're not intimidated by anyone or anything. Capricorns are laser-focused on their goals, and considering that they're represented by the mountain goat and associated with the knees, there's no doubt that they'll make it to wherever they're heading. The thing is, though, once they do make it, they almost immediately set their sights on what's next. You can see why this may cause them some burnout, but that's not something coffee can't fix. So, if the Capricorn were any kitchen appliance, they'd be an espresso machine.
I don't know about you, but without some caffeine, no work is getting done on my end. Considering Capricorns are workaholics, they're sure to be working overtime — which means they'll be needing a little something extra. Whether it's a cappuccino in the morning, a midday latte, or a late-night espresso, having an at-home machine and making espresso at home brings the corner coffee shop right to you. Plus, it gives these signs an excuse to step away from their desks and stretch their legs throughout the day, even if they are only walking to the kitchen.
Aquarius
As the humanitarians of the zodiac, it's only natural that the Aquarius value their independence above all else — how else are they meant to make the world a better place for everyone? When it comes to these signs, any sort of biases are out of the question. In fact, anything deemed normal or widely accepted by society raises question marks in their minds. They're much more attracted to the obscure, strange, and even the ostracized. You can tell by their sense of fashion, unpopular opinions, odd hobbies, and out-there hairstyles that they prefer being the black sheep. It's also why they're considered the trendsetters of the zodiac.
If the Aquarius were any kitchen appliance, they'd be a Smeg toaster. Founded in the 1980s, the Italian company has turned kitchen appliances into status symbols — but, there's no doubt that the Aquarius had one way before they were cool. Ranked on our list of best toasters, purchasing a Smeg for your kitchen is much more than a functional decision. Not only do these toasters make toast, but they're also an aesthetic style choice. Ranging in colors from red to indigo and pastel yellow to orange, a Smeg toaster lets all of your visitors know that you're not like everybody else, you're different. That's what makes it perfect for the Aquarius.
Pisces
It is said that, as the last sign of the zodiac, Pisces inherits all of the accumulated life lessons and wisdom of the signs that come before it. However, rather than being logical, this manifests in Pisces being extremely intuitive and mystical. These signs are represented by two fish swimming in opposite directions, and it's meant to symbolize the way that their attention is constantly divided between fantasy and reality. They have entire universes inside of their heads, and they're dying to bring them to life. The main way they do this is through their artistic pursuits – and, with the vast options of proteins and toppings. the only food that could match up to the level of creative expression these signs rely on is pizza. That's why, if the Pisces were any kitchen appliance, they'd be an outdoor pizza oven.
From the cheese to the sauce and the protein to the veggies and other toppings, your choices when making or ordering a pizza are as endless as the Pisces' imagination. These signs will revel in all of the possibilities and directions that they can take with their pizzas. Whether it's a classic New York Style or a Chicago deep dish, the pizza oven will allow them to bring their wildest imaginations to life — and it will be one of the best investments they ever made.